Month: December 2006

We’re back home safely. The time in Oak Ridge had a few interesting highlights. As usual, a big positive was our meal at Big Ed’s Pizza. This Oak Ridge landmark is our favorite pizza anywhere and we always look forward to it. The kids are old enough to enjoy the food, but they don’t really get the whole Big Ed’s experience. It will come in time.

For the category of “you might be in Oak Ridge”…

We had to go to the Staples to make some photocopies. This Staples is in a small shopping area made up of separate buildings placed somewhat haphazardly. As we’re leaving the store I notice a line of cars to my left, but I can’t see what they are waiting for. My first thought was that they were in line at a bank’s drive-thru teller. As I get farther out in the parking lot I can see the object of their desire. It is a drive-thru window, but not a bank. They are in line for the Discount Tobacco store. Get your carton of smokes from the comfort of the driver’s seat. I guess they didn’t get the memo from the Surgeon General. Or maybe they figure the radioactive material dumped all over the county makes the health risk from smoking inconsequential.

I’ve got a photo of Maria in front of the Nail Salon/Tanning Bed/Post Office. I can’t make this any funnier. It’s good on it’s own.

My 5-year old’s most talked about Christmas present is the dog that poops. Namely, Barbie and Tanner the dog that poops. I’m not making this up. You feed the dog treats that look like chocolate tic tacs, then push down on his tail to induce digestion, and little plastic covered iron dog turds fall out. Barbie has a pooper scooper (with a magnet) to handle the cleanup. The dog poop is dropped into the waste can which is attached to the snack bin (don’t try this at home) and the cycle starts over. This had to have been an SNL parody at some point. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Woke up to a migraine. Got up for about 30 minutes then I was back down until 1:30 in the afternoon. Managed to drink some tea, chew a half-dozen grape kids Tylenol, and get a shower. Followed that up with some saltines and I’m now vertical. Ugh. Luckily the kids have some family here to take up my slack.

Our Christmas Eve dinner consisted of Nabs, chocolate muffins, and Chex Mix. All eaten in the minivan at 70 mph.

The Hunt brothers at lunch.

It rained all day. Wrecks everywhere. Got to Kingsport late. Blah.

At dinner, we were seated in the same area as a group of about 12 people that were co-workers and spouses having a holiday get together. But remember, this is Kingsport. After about two minutes of watching and listening to them, I whispered to Maria that we had stumbled into a meeting of Larry the Cable Guy‘s fan club. Of the seven men, all had beards, four wore caps, one had a mullet, and one looked like Kenny Rogers in the 70’s.

A few minutes later, my daughter said “those guys sound like Mater” and I nearly fell in the floor.