Dog that poops

My 5-year old’s most talked about Christmas present is the dog that poops. Namely, Barbie and Tanner the dog that poops. I’m not making this up. You feed the dog treats that look like chocolate tic tacs, then push down on his tail to induce digestion, and little plastic covered iron dog turds fall out. Barbie has a pooper scooper (with a magnet) to handle the cleanup. The dog poop is dropped into the waste can which is attached to the snack bin (don’t try this at home) and the cycle starts over. This had to have been an SNL parody at some point. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Christmas day

Woke up to a migraine. Got up for about 30 minutes then I was back down until 1:30 in the afternoon. Managed to drink some tea, chew a half-dozen grape kids Tylenol, and get a shower. Followed that up with some saltines and I’m now vertical. Ugh. Luckily the kids have some family here to take up my slack.

You might be in Kingsport

If you order Key Lime Pie and it’s served smothered in raspberry sauce… you might be in Kingsport.

If your pint of Guinness comes in a frozen glass with an icy head… you might be in Kingsport.

If one of the cereal choices on the breakfast bar is “Raisen Bran”… you might be in Kingsport.

On the other hand, if you’re in a shoe store that carries Birkenstock, Ecco, Dansko, Josef Siebel, Earth, and more… you might be in Kingsport. Really. I can’t explain it, but it’s true. Shoozies in Ft. Henry Mall.

Christmas trip, day 1

It rained all day. Wrecks everywhere. Got to Kingsport late. Blah.

At dinner, we were seated in the same area as a group of about 12 people that were co-workers and spouses having a holiday get together. But remember, this is Kingsport. After about two minutes of watching and listening to them, I whispered to Maria that we had stumbled into a meeting of Larry the Cable Guy‘s fan club. Of the seven men, all had beards, four wore caps, one had a mullet, and one looked like Kenny Rogers in the 70’s.

A few minutes later, my daughter said “those guys sound like Mater” and I nearly fell in the floor.

Other worlds…

… and I’m not talking about Science Fiction. We had a movie marathon this week related to one of Maria’s classes. I had an overload of racism, corruption, and violence. We began with Training Day starring Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke. Next up was American History X with Edward Norton and Edward Furlong. Last we had Four Brothers led by Mark Wahlberg.

All of these films were set in places that I don’t want to believe exist, but I know that they do. Places where there are gun fights in broad daylight. Places were your life is in real jeopardy simply because of your skin color. Places where you can be ruined if you don’t sell yourself.

I don’t think I could survive in any of them.

Ho hum

Not much to discuss lately. I getting over my first bout of apathy since starting the blog. I’ve got my annual dread of Christmas coupled with a significant dip in job satisfaction. Ugh. On the plus side, the long Thanksgiving weekend went well. The kids watched way too much TV, but the adults needed some quiet time.

Post election

I didn’t get my hopes up and I was rewarded. In the local races, most of my preferred candidates won and the school bonds were approved. At the national level, Democrats won control of the House while control of the Senate awaits a recount in Virginia. There is renewed hope, but it is just hope.

After the 2004 election I was seriously concerned that our nation might not recover from the Bush era. We won’t known for years, but at least now there is hope. As long as we have a two party system, we are far better off with power split between them. One in control of Congress and the other in the White House. I doubt that it matters which is where. When one party is in total control, then they drive the bus into the ditch. With power split, then only the necessary items get accomplished. Sanity is more likely to prevail.

On a related note, I listened to most of the President’s press conference today. I admit that I have avoided the President’s comments as much as possible for the past two years. Today I was reminded why. He is an idiot and this infuriates me. His idiocy isn’t the problem. What infuriates me is being reminded that over half of my fellow voting citizens chose an idiot to be President of our country. Twice. It’s not like he is a closet idiot. Every time that he opens his mouth and tries to put three sentences together his idiocy is apparent. This is an obvious example from today:

Somehow it’s seeped in their conscience that, you know, my attitude was just simply stay the course.

How could we have possibly thought that he wanted to stay the course?

And another gem:

And so the fresh perspective on what the American people here today is we’re constantly looking for fresh perspective.

This man is the leader of the free world.